IBTYF.pdf

just cries out his years of pent up fear and sorrow. John is kicking himself over
letting it get this bad but for now focuses on stroking Andy’s hair and dropping
little kisses on his baby boy’s forehead

It’s three o’clock in the morning, and Andy can’t sleep.
He’s thinking about the amount of work waiting for him in the office tomorrow. The amount
of work that never seems to decrease, and which he feels as if he’s been drowning in these
last few weeks.
His head hurts with over-thinking, and he can already feel the anxiety building in his chest.
Usually when he gets anxious he’ll just roll over and cuddle James, but his sub isn’t with him
tonight. Instead he’s alone in his old bedroom in his childhood home (not his real childhood
home, but the one he’d moved to at sixteen).
Andy can feel his head throbbing, so he gets up to take some painkillers, and then quietly
makes his way to the master bedroom.
It’s only Andy and his mother in the house at the moment. Brian and Roger are away on tour,
and Andy’s mother had opted not to go with them. Brian had asked Andy if he wouldn’t mind
staying in the house for a few nights to keep his mum company, and the truth is Andy hates
the idea of his mum being all alone in a big house like this.
It’s been nice for the two of them to spend some time alone together, and it’s reminded Andy
that there are far more important things to worry about than work.
Andy knocks gently on the door of the master bedroom, opening it when his mum sleepily
tells him to come in.
The room is just as he remembers it- large and spacious with photos of the Mercury children
and May children dotted around the room. There’s a large bed in the middle, which is usually
filled with three people, but tonight it’s just Andy’s mother on his own, looking far too small
in a bed like this.
“Everything alright?” John asks groggily.
Andy swallows. “Can I sleep here with you? Sorry, I’m just feeling a bit rubbish.”
John’s face softens and he pats the space next to him. “Of course you can, sweetheart.”
Andy eagerly climbs into the bed, crawling under the covers to cuddle up to his mum. The
bed is ridiculously comfy, and Andy tries not to think about the fact that he’s lying in the
space where Brian most likely fucks his mother.
John’s warm arms encircle him and Andy settles his head on the older man’s chest. It reminds
him of when he’d cuddle up to his mum in bed as a boy, back when his dad was still alive.
He’s always felt safe in his mother’s arms.
“Is something bothering you?” John asks gently, stroking his son’s hair. “Are you missing
James and the kids?”
Andy blinks back tears. “It’s not that. I’m just feeling a bit stressed at the moment.”
And then he glances at his mum’s nightstand and notices that there’s a photo of his dad
staring back at him, and Andy bursts into tears.
He feels his mum’s arms tighten around him and soft lips in his hair, and he never wants to
leave the safety of this bed.
i belong to you forever
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